Rules

I know most of us are now married or dating PEC's (Possible Eternal Companions) so these rules won't apply, but I'm sure if you think hard you can remember your days of dating and probably laugh at some of these. One of my friend's emailed this to me - apparently her friend wrote these with some roommates in college once. They're mostly good - a few random ones that I'm not sure I agree with, but overall this had me laughing. I ESPECIALLY love #40. Now if we could just mass-produce this and figure out how to get it to all the single guys we know.

40 Rules Girls Wish Guys Knew

1. Girls, by nature, are emotional creatures, and will continue to be emotional throughout time. As long as gravity = 9.81 m/s2, girls will cry at sappy commercials and romantic comedies.

2. Roses are overdone and played out. Be creative. Daisies, lilies, and lilacs are completely acceptable.

3. When girls ask, “Am I fat?” your answer should always be as follows: “No honey, in fact, I think you look too thin”. We rely on the despots of Weight Watchers to tell us the truth.

4. Girls share their problems with boys because they trust them, not because we want amazing advice. We just want a nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on.

5. Guys look hot in “trendy” glasses, and every guy looks great in a suit.

6. Girls are scared of boys. Approach us, even if you’re ugly. Girls like to be approached. It boosts our egos.

7. We tell our friends everything, and tell them to deny that they know anything. So to say “don’t tell you friends” is pointless.

8. We tell our mother everything about you, but we never tell our mothers about making out.

9. Girls love to have their hair played with. We love to cuddle even more.

10. Girls hate “DTR”s as much as guys do. Relax and chill and don’t ever overanalyze. Girls never know what we want. Ever.

11. When girls wear pajamas and no make-up in front of you for the first time, she is scared of your reaction. But this is a huge step for her, because she now trusts you. Don’t make any ghastly faces. You could mess her up forever.

12. Girls hate it when boys call too much. We like a little bit of a chase, until we know that you like us and we like you. Then, the chase is annoying and rude.

13. Get a day planner or palm pilot for reminders. We will even put in the dates. You’re just expected to show up on time and look good (without roses).

14. Girls love to take care of boys. It’s our maternal instinct. But we like to be taken care of occasionally, too. We love to cook, but not all the time. We don’t mind to clean either, but we like it when you help. But we understand that it is in our set of responsibilities.

15. All girls are scared to death of childbirth. When you say, “I want 15 kids,” we do not think about having 15 “I love you Daddy” cards on Father’s Day or 15 derby trophies. We think about the amount of pain and stretch marks that come from 15 kids. Start low and slowly work your way up.

16. Don’t ever flirt with our friends, ever.

17. We hate to talk about periods, burping, and farting. Please don’t bring these topics up around us. We hate it.

18. When you meet our parents be polite, shake their hands, and be outgoing. If our parents don’t like you, we too will eventually not like you.

19. Don’t think you know more about business and the stock market. It’s 2005; we know what’s up. Portfolios are important to us too.

20. If you have a great car, it’s a plus. If you have a crappy car, don’t think we care that much. We are in college.

21. Being lazy is the number one turnoff. Girls don’t want to marry someone without ambition.

22. Ambition is very sexy.

23. Girls are just as horny as boys. Any girl who says otherwise is lying.

24. We appreciate the sweet moments when boys cry, but these should be very rare moments. Girls hate pansies.

25. We watch the way you speak to and treat your mother. How you treat your mother is how you will treat us.

26. Girls hate it when boys are flashy about money. It’s shallow. If girls don’t talk about money, it doesn’t mean we didn’t come from money. We just don’t care and find the whole conversation uncomfortable and rude.

27. We expect you to look at other girls. It means you’re healthy. But looking too long will just tick us off. If you say, “she is cute, but she needs to cover up,” or “she just doesn’t compare to you,” you’ll win our hearts forever.

28. We understand that you might be a democrat in college, but with the understanding that you’ll be an elephant as soon as you get your first job.

29. We love boys that play the guitar. We like it a lot.

30. Don’t say, “I love you” until you mean it, and never too early. It’s an emotional attachment that you are not ready for. Neither are we.

31. All girls’ greatest fear and desire is to become like their mother.

32. Break up with a girl before you ever cheat. Once you cheat, you become “one of those boys”.

33. We love boys with testimonies. We love cockiness, but there comes a moment for humility. When boys have their special moments of humility, we instantly love you forever.

34. It’s better to be a bad kisser than not to kiss us at all. But when our hands are folded, it means: Back off!

35. Girls don’t really like “Rad” or ski movies. We love it because you do. It’s fine a couple times a year, not every time we watch a movie. We don’t expect you to watch Gone with the Wind with us, and we don’t want you to either.

36. Appreciate scrapbooking as an art, just as we appreciate boxcars as an art. We don’t want to help you build your car. We don’t want you to scrapbook, but act like you care.

37. Boys that can sing are sexy, but let us catch you singing. Don’t sing in the choir or to yourself when you’re walking to class. You just look queer.

38. Girls will always love gay guys, but we don’t want you to become femme (have you ever heard of metros?).

39. Never yell.

40. If you can’t handle the possibility of your team losing, then you should not watch the game.